The good, bad and the UGLY - Resolving E-conflict

Communication in humans covers an amazing range from affirmation to aggression. We use words, gestures and conversations to build people up and tear them down. Technologically assisted communication can also be deployed across the whole human spectrum. It provides a new, novel arena and platform for conflict.

People Resolution’s investigation, mediation and coaching casework contains growing evidence of E-conflict - miscommunication, inappropriate behaviour, bullying and harassment conducted via email, social media, phone, internet forums, texts. There is also the latent, smouldering conflict cased by a lack of certainty and disagreements about some behavioural conventions regarding the use of technology, devices and on-line communication – a lack of agreed E-tiquette - for example:

·         Managers have told us that they find it distracting and disrespectful if other participants monitor or even answer their phones / emails during a meeting

·         People are asking to record a conversation on their phone for ‘future reference’ and there is no policy / guidance for this

·         Some people broadcast / copy others into emails for no apparent reason or bombard others with emails at times of day well outside normal working hours

This is a difficult are as I mentioned in a recent white paper - Part 2 of the ABC Guide to Conflict Resolution – Resolution Architecture.

·         E-tiquette is not sufficiently well developed or universal to enable easy agreement about what is OK for some people and not others

·         Many online modes of communication are all about speed of delivery and reply and therefore meaning may get lost or confused in the speed

·         Generational/cultural differences may cause significant disagreements about what is appropriate and what is not.

I have not found a lot of effective practice in this area. Most conflict resolution and mediation training and provision do not even cover this area. People Resolutions is currently researching the extent and nature of E-Conflict and what organisations are doing to update their conflict resolution practice in this area. Could you let us know?

What is your experience of E-conflict – what types of situations and challenges have you come across?

What measures have you put in place to encourage user friendly and socially constructive use of technology assisted communication – do you have guidance on E-tiquette?

What specific measures have you adopted for effect E-conflict Resolution e.g?

•        Use of on-line mediation, facilitation

•        Effective collection of electronic evidence for formal investigations

•        Manager training on preventing and managing e-conflict.

I have started this as a discussion in a number of Linked-In groups, or you can comment on this blog or email to set up a conversation with me on john.crawley@peopleresolutions.com

Climate change on a very local basis

I have been working recently on the concept of moving from a conflict reactive to a conflict proactive Resolution Climate[1]. The picture above illustrates that concept from storms to sun.

I have been applying it at an organisational level, but realised that is has significance and impact at micro level. Done well mediation can change the conflict climate between two individuals.

A couple of months ago I walked into a small room in central London followed by two people who walked with hesitant steps, avoiding eye contact and greyed with the signs of worry. They had signed up for a joint mediation session after some weeks of being unsure. One agreed because ‘he could not stand not looking their manager in the eye anymore.’ The manager came along because she thought it was her last chance to get her point of view across.

I had met them each four weeks ago and the mediation planned for the same day was paused. Each was relieved to have spoken and been listened too but were doubtful of their ability to go to the next step, lacking confidence about their colleagues intentions. A cloud of disappointment hung over the manager and a storm of triggered frustration sat just below the member of staff’s edgy surface.

The parties were brave to eventually agree to meet one another in a joint mediationsession. For them the risk was worth it.

The manager was patronisingly phlegmatic early on which caused simmering resentment and initially I had to pause the parties a lot, acknowledge, clarify and defuse the tension. As me moved into sustained direct dialogue each started opening up about context – their own lives, the things they kissed about the work environment and the pressure in what used to be a ‘soft’ job. They also started to get where the other one was coming from. A lot of gesturing, shrugging and some spicy language but now accompanies by engaging, more open body language and less personalised tone.

I could feel it and so could they. Their differences were present but less significant. They had found a way through the no-eye-contact fog and their real feelings and needs were coming out.

Two and a half hours after we entered the room we emerged with an agreement on all issues pertaining to work duties and communication issues. They were more upright, less hesitant and continued to talk as they headed off along the corridor. The shadowy ghosts who had arrived had been re-inhabited by real people – animated, solid and more together than they had been for some time. Just imagine the climate change when they arrived back with their team!

John Crawley

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[1] See Resolution Climate – Part 4 ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution at http://www.peopleresolutions.com/resource/abc-guide-to-conflict

Conflict climate change and the global warming debate

Research purporting to confirm categorically that global warming is happening and is caused by humans has been released and fiercely debated in the UK on this warm Autumn weekend in 2013. To my inexpert eye the evidence is extremely persuasive and I would like my country to recognise that if we caused climate change then we have a responsibility to do something about it. I, like thousands of others, take a number of practical, ‘green’ measures – recycling, energy conservation, family carbon footprint reduction. I do not believe that this alone will have a global impact unless governments and commerce become more proactively and collaboratively focused on a solution. On a national and international scale the lack of political consensus around this debate has led to a rather reactive rather than pro-active approach.

This is mirrored to some degree when we look at workplace conflict climate. There is some evidence of ‘warming’ as the ER landscape has shifted away from collective to more individually based workplace disputes. Latent conflict (which simmers and causes stress, sickness and ultimately poor performance) also seems to have risen. The use of mediation on such situations has gone up by 14 per cent since 2008[1].

Successful mediation projects basically increase mediation capacity, then encourage individuals to make better resolution choices e.g. mediation before grievance where possible / appropriate. The indications are that this increases resolution rates and saves money, time and stress. Admirable, but just as with global warming individual acts will not achieve lasting change without some leadership and investment – is this enough. Many mediation services are fragile, underused and still battling against a reactive conflict avoidance or ‘battle it out’ culture. They only really wheel into action when a ‘case’ appears.

I am confident that there is more to come from mediation in many organisations. There are benefits in aspiring to a conflict climate change relevant to your organisation and people. I am currently exploring this area in Part 4 of the ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution – Resolution Climate[2].

I am taking an overview of:  

• What some of the features and benefits are of a conflict resolution climate
• How to identify and benchmark factors which enable existing or new mediation projects to achieve more lasting proactive changes towards a conflict resolution culture
• How different types of organisations may need more tailored / customised approaches in order to achieve conflict climate change.

I welcome and examples / case studies from anyone out there who has a project they believe contributes to conflict climate change in their organisation. Contact me at john.crawley@peopleresolutions.com.

John Crawley

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[1] ACAS Workplace Snippets Mediation can help more organisations improve their workplace culture Sept 2013

[2] See http://www.peopleresolutions.com/resource/abc-guide-to-conflict