Conflict is all over our papers, screens and social media – a global
phenomenon. Conflict voyeur programmes like Big Brother and Jeremy Kyle incite
participants to disagree knowing that we will all watch thinking smugly that we
are better than that. Resolution is a far less frequent visitor to our screens
than conflict.
Conflict is dramatic and to some compelling and involving. But it need
not always be so negative, so scary. Conflicts within the context of our own
working and personal lives are within our control. They are normal consequences
of empowered citizens and diverse working communities. Different people
sometimes fall out. If we accept that conflict happens then for sure there will
be solutions out there too.
In the workplace over the last 25 years I have seen panic when conflict
happens, treating it like a disease of illness. People freeze, fight or run
away. I also have massive personal experience of a more positive approach to
conflict based on early win/win resolution where managers have
boldy stayed impartial, set up mediation-style meetings and transformed working
relationships. I know of external mediators who have settled long-term disputes over working
conditions and restored confidence and capability. Even when some bad behaviour
has alienated a team and provoked calls for ‘justice’ I have seen an independent investigation lead to
positive change through clear evidencing of the bad behaviour and an onset of
restorative work like coaching or training.
Resolutions reduce the fear and anger around conflict. They also
demonstrate how conflict can be a positive force for growth and change. The
challenge for conflict resolvers out there is to replace the damaging negative
stories around conflict with positive ones. Perhaps what we really need is a blockbuster
movie which shows conflict AND resolution – Win Hard, The Texas Cando
Mediator, Harry Potter and the Resolution Stone, Despicable Mediator 2 ?
Sign up for Conflict is Normal - Part One of John Crawley’s ABC Guide toConflict Resolution at Work. Due out next week.
