Some good learning for all managers around difficult
conversations has recently emerged from an unlikely source – football – better
known for causing conflict than resolving it.
A new book ‘The manager - Inside the Minds of Football’s
Leaders[1]’
has a section on ‘how to have tough conversations’ which has some useful
material. Glen Hoddle an ex England manager knew that a tough conversation with
the most famous England player – Paul Gascoigne was coming but he was
determined to tackle the core issue and not avoid it.
‘I had to sit him down in the hotel one-to-one and I spoke
to him with the facts. “Listen Paul, for a year I’ve been telling you if we get
to the World Cup it could be magnificent for you. You’re at your peak – but you
haven’t listened and now I have to make this decision.” It was a tough tough
decision.’ Hoddle had signposted his intentions, kept in touch over a period of
time and was crystal clear about the reasons for his decision.
David Moyes (now Manchester United manager) ‘takes the
decision rationally then prepares emotionally’: ‘I remember the tough
conversation when I changed the captain. I looked for the best way to do it,
tried to be fair and did what I believed was right. It was a long thought
process – I don’t make these decisions lightly. Then I worked out how to give
him the message a way that would keep him completely engaged and playing well.”
Carlo Ancelotti (Real Madrid manager) emphasises the value
and the difficulty of empathy:
‘I think you have to show the player your character, because
in a group it is normal to have a better relationship with one and a different
relationship with another. By showing your character you build trust – and in
this way I was able to keep friendships even whn making tough and unpopular
decisions.’
Clearly at the top of the current football tree management
skills have advanced massively since Ron Atkinson – football pundit and ex
manager of Manchester United:
‘They’ve picked their heads up of the off the ground and now
they have a lot to carry on their shoulders.’
John Crawley (PRL general manager)
Commissioned recently by the ‘Manager’ (The Magazine for the
League Managers Association) to write an article on having
challenging conversations as it was requested by a number of managers.
