The good, bad and the UGLY - Resolving E-conflict

Communication in humans covers an amazing range from affirmation to aggression. We use words, gestures and conversations to build people up and tear them down. Technologically assisted communication can also be deployed across the whole human spectrum. It provides a new, novel arena and platform for conflict.

People Resolution’s investigation, mediation and coaching casework contains growing evidence of E-conflict - miscommunication, inappropriate behaviour, bullying and harassment conducted via email, social media, phone, internet forums, texts. There is also the latent, smouldering conflict cased by a lack of certainty and disagreements about some behavioural conventions regarding the use of technology, devices and on-line communication – a lack of agreed E-tiquette - for example:

·         Managers have told us that they find it distracting and disrespectful if other participants monitor or even answer their phones / emails during a meeting

·         People are asking to record a conversation on their phone for ‘future reference’ and there is no policy / guidance for this

·         Some people broadcast / copy others into emails for no apparent reason or bombard others with emails at times of day well outside normal working hours

This is a difficult are as I mentioned in a recent white paper - Part 2 of the ABC Guide to Conflict Resolution – Resolution Architecture.

·         E-tiquette is not sufficiently well developed or universal to enable easy agreement about what is OK for some people and not others

·         Many online modes of communication are all about speed of delivery and reply and therefore meaning may get lost or confused in the speed

·         Generational/cultural differences may cause significant disagreements about what is appropriate and what is not.

I have not found a lot of effective practice in this area. Most conflict resolution and mediation training and provision do not even cover this area. People Resolutions is currently researching the extent and nature of E-Conflict and what organisations are doing to update their conflict resolution practice in this area. Could you let us know?

What is your experience of E-conflict – what types of situations and challenges have you come across?

What measures have you put in place to encourage user friendly and socially constructive use of technology assisted communication – do you have guidance on E-tiquette?

What specific measures have you adopted for effect E-conflict Resolution e.g?

•        Use of on-line mediation, facilitation

•        Effective collection of electronic evidence for formal investigations

•        Manager training on preventing and managing e-conflict.

I have started this as a discussion in a number of Linked-In groups, or you can comment on this blog or email to set up a conversation with me on john.crawley@peopleresolutions.com

Climate change on a very local basis

I have been working recently on the concept of moving from a conflict reactive to a conflict proactive Resolution Climate[1]. The picture above illustrates that concept from storms to sun.

I have been applying it at an organisational level, but realised that is has significance and impact at micro level. Done well mediation can change the conflict climate between two individuals.

A couple of months ago I walked into a small room in central London followed by two people who walked with hesitant steps, avoiding eye contact and greyed with the signs of worry. They had signed up for a joint mediation session after some weeks of being unsure. One agreed because ‘he could not stand not looking their manager in the eye anymore.’ The manager came along because she thought it was her last chance to get her point of view across.

I had met them each four weeks ago and the mediation planned for the same day was paused. Each was relieved to have spoken and been listened too but were doubtful of their ability to go to the next step, lacking confidence about their colleagues intentions. A cloud of disappointment hung over the manager and a storm of triggered frustration sat just below the member of staff’s edgy surface.

The parties were brave to eventually agree to meet one another in a joint mediationsession. For them the risk was worth it.

The manager was patronisingly phlegmatic early on which caused simmering resentment and initially I had to pause the parties a lot, acknowledge, clarify and defuse the tension. As me moved into sustained direct dialogue each started opening up about context – their own lives, the things they kissed about the work environment and the pressure in what used to be a ‘soft’ job. They also started to get where the other one was coming from. A lot of gesturing, shrugging and some spicy language but now accompanies by engaging, more open body language and less personalised tone.

I could feel it and so could they. Their differences were present but less significant. They had found a way through the no-eye-contact fog and their real feelings and needs were coming out.

Two and a half hours after we entered the room we emerged with an agreement on all issues pertaining to work duties and communication issues. They were more upright, less hesitant and continued to talk as they headed off along the corridor. The shadowy ghosts who had arrived had been re-inhabited by real people – animated, solid and more together than they had been for some time. Just imagine the climate change when they arrived back with their team!

John Crawley

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[1] See Resolution Climate – Part 4 ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution at http://www.peopleresolutions.com/resource/abc-guide-to-conflict

Conflict climate change and the global warming debate

Research purporting to confirm categorically that global warming is happening and is caused by humans has been released and fiercely debated in the UK on this warm Autumn weekend in 2013. To my inexpert eye the evidence is extremely persuasive and I would like my country to recognise that if we caused climate change then we have a responsibility to do something about it. I, like thousands of others, take a number of practical, ‘green’ measures – recycling, energy conservation, family carbon footprint reduction. I do not believe that this alone will have a global impact unless governments and commerce become more proactively and collaboratively focused on a solution. On a national and international scale the lack of political consensus around this debate has led to a rather reactive rather than pro-active approach.

This is mirrored to some degree when we look at workplace conflict climate. There is some evidence of ‘warming’ as the ER landscape has shifted away from collective to more individually based workplace disputes. Latent conflict (which simmers and causes stress, sickness and ultimately poor performance) also seems to have risen. The use of mediation on such situations has gone up by 14 per cent since 2008[1].

Successful mediation projects basically increase mediation capacity, then encourage individuals to make better resolution choices e.g. mediation before grievance where possible / appropriate. The indications are that this increases resolution rates and saves money, time and stress. Admirable, but just as with global warming individual acts will not achieve lasting change without some leadership and investment – is this enough. Many mediation services are fragile, underused and still battling against a reactive conflict avoidance or ‘battle it out’ culture. They only really wheel into action when a ‘case’ appears.

I am confident that there is more to come from mediation in many organisations. There are benefits in aspiring to a conflict climate change relevant to your organisation and people. I am currently exploring this area in Part 4 of the ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution – Resolution Climate[2].

I am taking an overview of:  

• What some of the features and benefits are of a conflict resolution climate
• How to identify and benchmark factors which enable existing or new mediation projects to achieve more lasting proactive changes towards a conflict resolution culture
• How different types of organisations may need more tailored / customised approaches in order to achieve conflict climate change.

I welcome and examples / case studies from anyone out there who has a project they believe contributes to conflict climate change in their organisation. Contact me at john.crawley@peopleresolutions.com.

John Crawley

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[1] ACAS Workplace Snippets Mediation can help more organisations improve their workplace culture Sept 2013

[2] See http://www.peopleresolutions.com/resource/abc-guide-to-conflict

The fragility of mediation

Last week I ran a workshop for some senior, capable HR people from UHR (University Human Resources). The theme was ‘How to make the most of mediation in your workplace.’ We had discussed some really creative ideas about managing resistant parties and managing difficult behaviour – reframing, proportionate conflict facilitation, staying in the impartial mediator role under pressure. As ever, though an underlying theme of pessimism and frustration seeped in as people recounted examples of parties ‘who were just going through the motions’ or ‘wanted revenge or an apology and nothing less’ or ‘didn’t think anything was to do with them so went into denial.’

Of course these situations can be difficult to mediate, and may end up with an incomplete, ineffective or no resolution. These doubts may even prevent the parties going beyond separate meetings. But why does this seem to undermine user confidence in mediation disproportionately? Paul Latreille described this as the ‘fragility’ of mediation:

‘Attitudes towards mediation are in many instances only as positive as the last experience.’

Yes a mediation that does not work out a planned is difficult, but why do we focus on the ‘failures’, the difficult moments and unresolved conflicts. Most of my mediations and those of several hundred colleagues result in success in over 75% of cases (monitored and based on party and client feedback) – issues resolved, communication restored, working relationship improved.

I hope I was positive at my workshop, acknowledging that difficult situations leave their mark and damage confidence, but also encouraging bold, honest and accurate reflection of the many positives that mediation produces. Let’s get the success stories out there. Build confidence by recruiting, training and developing mediators to a high standard.

John Crawley is running our market leading Workplace Mediator 5 day course in London on Public Programme on 13, 14 and 15 November and 20, 21^st November.

John Crawley

The FAIRER workplace investigation process– preventing the rogues

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the Home Office is to introduce a new system of regulation for private investigators to protect the public from unscrupulous activity. The idea is to prevent rogue investigators unlawfully infringing on the privacy of individuals.

Workplace investigations are luckily not dogged by such rogue individuals but it does sometimes feel as though organisations do not put a high priority on supporting and quality assuring their investigators in what is a complex, risky role.

I’ve recently distilled People Resolutions’ vast experience of workplace investigation into the FAIRER model and I hope this will help those of you who are assigned to investigating workplace grievances, disciplinaries, bullying and harassment allegations and other matters.

This is how it works. First the FAIRER acronym captures the spirit of the central value of effective workplace investigation. Investigators need to be demonstrably fair – recognised as fair by a range of stakeholders, parties and their representatives in their management and recording of the process, in their verbal exchanges, treatment and respect of the parties, and in any written material they process or produce.

Fairness isn’t just in the head or heart. It involves preparation, following designated structures and principles and rigorous attention to detail. Policies give some guidance on process and many organisations do have maps, templates and model documents to help investigators act consistently across a range of situations with a range of stressed, demanding parties often with polarised perceptions.

The structure of thinking and working provided by the FAIRER model supplements and dovetails well with workplace policies and procedures.  

F- Find out – what is to be investigated and agree the terms of reference (investigation plan), what are the issues and allegations, what is the evidence, what happened and what can help understand and assess what happened

A– Analyse – apply objective, impartial, rational consideration to reflect and begin to structure what you have and begin to weigh it up against the allegations

I – bring Insight – consider the weight, type of evidence, levels of proof required, utilise external guidance, definitions, seek more information and clarification if required

R- Report – pull together evidence, conclusions, findings* in a detailed, structured report according to policy requirements and the terms of reference

E – Evaluate - explain and get feedback on the report and findings / recommendations with key parties, check in with commissioning person for feedback as appropriate

R - Reflect on learning emerging from the investigation and disseminate as appropriate.

John Crawley

*If Required 

Conflict weariness – that very human trait

Like doctors mediators can be forgiven for developing an overly negative view of life and of people. The overwhelming majority of patients are unwell. Doctors do very little work with the healthy. Life’s infections and afflictions dominate their perspective. Most doctors are extremely busy. The unwell are ever-present. Mediators too see people who are in a painful place in their life or work. This is not a reducing phenomenon. Although resolution provides a soothing palliative for the mediator and the parties, I am frequently shocked by the ease with which people disagree and fight and the range of issues which provoke them.

Time and time again unresolved conflicts are concealed, suppressed or ignored. Disputants in the meantime download frustration, manipulation, aggression and oppression on anyone who happens to be around. Some relish conflict, others are defeated by it. Conflict bleeds outwards and has catastrophic effects on capability and performance. Most UK managers feel ill equipped to manage conflict. Workers in the UK are certainly more willing and able to raise issues and assert their rights often across boundaries of hierarchy and status. Significant amounts of time are consumed as managers are confronted with ‘people problems’ – grievances, disputes and negative behaviour.

Human conflict remains a continuing challenge for many of us. It can weigh us down. Like pheasants in the country or pigeons in town evolution does not seem to have improved our reaction to dangerous and risky situations. Pigeons or pheasants run at cars or freeze. Humans panic in the face of conflict, react aggressively or become completely immobilized by it. Dysfunctional behaviour is normal when conflict happens. If you feel incapable of saying what you need during a dispute you are not weak or unwell. People say or do unexpected things when affected by the emotion and disequilibrium of conflict.

I have recently been writing about conflict resolution again and at least that has forced me to remember resolution as well as conflict. I have reconfigured my conflict weariness into something more constructive - resolution readiness. If conflict is normal then resolution must figure at least as often as protracted disagreement. We humans are so good at selectively remembering the bad stuff even when surrounded by positive, healthy memories. Read all about resolution readiness for organisations in the ABC Guide to Conflict Resolution and re-energise your approach to conflict.

John Crawley

 

Conversations that improve everybody’s lives

It is a shame that mediators across different sectors do not often meet and exchange tips very often because there is a lot we can learn from one another. I recently ran a three day mediation training course with Good Relations Oldham who came into being after the Oldham Riots. On their web site they state that their aim is ‘To help build good relations between people, communities and organisations. Independence and impartiality are our guiding principles.’ GRO ‘offers conflict resolution and mediation services and training’ and claims that ‘we can help you develop insight that will change the way you look at conflict forever.’

A team of dedicated, diverse volunteers have trained over 200 people in mediation and conflict resolution skills and also resolved some difficult community issues. When I met and worked with the team, I was really impressed by how each person had a distinctive voice and had chosen to put considerable personal resources into relationship building for a range of personal, cultural and social reasons. This was not a career trip or qualification hunt but an act of conviction.

The GRO practitioners also had a range of stories, anecdotes and snapshots about their work, the people they have trained and the people they work with. Samples of this appear on a recent video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmlvss4_trE.

GRO has created a powerful resource achieving much more than just an improvement of case resolution rates. When workplace mediators finish their training they are often equally inspired by what they have learned about themselves, and the positive nature of mediation. Hopefully they retain and develop their optimism as they work through their cases. Many organisations leave it there and do not make the most of what they have created.

What I learned from GRO is that it is possible to go beyond casework and offer much more than just an alternative to more formal, legal approaches to conflict resolution. This dedicated group has developed beyond mediation casework to also provide training, conflict coaching, community building and group facilitation. This is a model that I believe could suit many workplaces. Just imagine the spreading the skills and self-awareness that build good relations and encourage challenging ‘conversations that improve everybody’s lives.’

See more about ‘going beyond casework in the up and coming ABC Guide to WorkplaceConflict Resolution – Part 2 Resolution Architecture.

John Crawley

Adding Conflict Management and Mediation Skills to Management Competencies – Improving the Resolution Architecture

Including Mediation A new study on Forbes suggests that CEOs are doing a ‘lousy job when it comes to people management’ and the ‘lowest rated skill was conflict management.’ 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/05/23/ceos-are-terrible-at-management-study-finds/ 

Listening skills, empathy and compassion also scored badly (23%). Of course CEOs need to focus on the bottom line and their decision-making ability is rated much higher in this study. This managerial skills defecit has also been noticed in recent CIPD Fact Sheet on Employee Relations at work

‘Managing the employment relationship rests heavily on the shoulders of line managers, but their competence in this area is, in general, seriously neglected…..A much wider area of knowledge is now required, along with the skills to apply it, including communications and conflict management.’

It is difficult to achieve a balance between people skills and technical, business and professional skills when designing leadership and management training. I believe that the Resolution Architecture at work and general levels of trust, engagement and capability would be improved and resolution-readiness increased if Conflict Management and Mediation skills were more prominently featured in Leadership and Management competencies and standards (see our ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution). As these skills contain listening, building trust, facilitation and working across diverse teams this change would also have a positive impact on engagement, trust and capability.

I recently sat on a working party leading a Skills CFA review and update of Leadership and Management National Occupational Standards. Conflict resolution and mediation skills barely appeared at all amongst a mass of competencies seen as leadership and management essentials. Without some mention in the standards I felt it was unlikely that these skills would ever be identified as central to success and worth investing in. The Resolution Architecture at work would remain non-conducive to early resolution by managers.

The review panel agreed that this was an omission so I designed a new standard which is ‘about managing conflicts across the broader work environment, between different stakeholders, working at different levels and in different departments or organisations. It covers taking preventative action to avoid the negative impacts of conflicts and resolving conflicts when they emerge.’ NOS are intended as guides to best practice so why not take a look and consider adding some of the skills, understanding and knowledge to your leadership competencies? 

Available at http://www.sqa.org.uk/files_ccc/CFAM_LDD5.pdf or  http://www.skillscfa.org/images/pdfs/National%20Occupational%20Standards/Management%20and%20Leadership/2012/Management%20and%20Leadership.pdf.

Many of these skills are covered in our conflict resolution and mediation training courses which you can find on our website but do get in touch to info@peopleresolutions.com  and be sure to download our 'ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolutions' guide and watch our video series. 

John Crawley

How to Disagree Well

Listening to the radio on the way into work the other day I heard ‘Thought for the Day’ in which The Revered Ruth Scott, an Anglican vicar in Richmond spoke about managing conflict on a highly emotive issue – Women Bishops - that comes with centuries of beliefs, history and values attached. Ruth mentions that ‘Many of our decision-making processes require us to take sides, to win arguments, to beat the opposition and to gain power by defeating ‘the other’. It doesn’t have to be that way.’

Ruth also outlines core skills that she used such as listening attentively, ‘holding in sight the humanity of the other’ and ‘respecting the right of the other to share their story.’ This piece recognised the need to look at processes and skills when attempting to resolve age-old differences. The fact that this proactive, dialogue based approach is being applied to such a difficult conflict is encouraging.

I have spent most of my working life helping people at work to ‘disagree well’ - a concept which is threaded through our new ABC Guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution.  This series of whitepapers is full of ideas and practical steps to take. The ultimate goal is to create an environment at work in which conflict is no longer viewed as something that spreads fear, confusion and closed thinking. ‘Resolution ready’ organisations resolve conflict in a positive way, so that disagreement becomes a fertile, engaging experience in which ideas flourish, performance is restored and trust rebuilt.

I wish the Revered Ruth Scott all the best in her facilitation endeavours. The full text  Ruth’s short talk are published below:

“Words, words, words, I’m so sick of words.” So sang Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. She reminds us that while it may be good to talk, communication isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be. Over the weekend I was helping to facilitate conversations at General Synod between members whose views about Women Bishops are very different.  

One reason why communication goes pear-shaped and conflict occurs is because fear prevents us having difficult conversations in the way we need to have them – by listening attentively, respecting the right of the other to share their story, taking responsibility for the consequences of the different choices we have, and always holding in sight the humanity of the other. The conversations at Synod were painful because members heard how damaging earlier debates had been, not only to themselves, but to those they opposed.

Acknowledging shared pain and working to reframe the dialogue was emotionally costly, but by the end of the day the message coming back from the groups was how much more of these facilitated conversations they wanted. This wasn’t because they worked like magic enabling everybody suddenly to agree with everyone else, but they offered another way of addressing difference. Many of our decision-making processes require us to take sides, to win arguments, to beat the opposition and to gain power by defeating ‘the other’. It doesn’t have to be that way. I was profoundly moved by members in my group holding diametrically opposed views who, after expressing their pain and anger, went on to work together to try and find ways forward that took seriously the perspectives of all of them. While agreement may be desirable, Chris, it may be more important to learn how to disagree well.’ ©BBC Radio 2

Read Part one of the ABC Guide- 'Conflict is Normal: Are you Resolution Ready?'  or email us at info@peopleresolutions.com to be the first to receive the series. 

Unresolved Conflict Stops You Working

The cost, risk and stress associated with unresolved conflict at work is well documented.

‘Conflict between individuals in the workplace can cost an organisation dear. In 2011–12, there were 186,300 employment tribunal claims (MOJ 2012). Over the

past decade there has been a significant increase in employment rights legislation, providing additional avenues for employees to seek recourse through formal channels. People are also now more aware of their rights at work. This expanded legal framework means that, if employers do not manage conflict effectively, the consequences can be serious.[1]’

Negative conflict narrative is abundant and persuasive. The following conflict snapshots are from real life situations:

Levi doesn’t like difficult conversations so he avoids monitoring Stanislav’s performance. When ‘Stan’s performance suddenly dips Levi sends a formal sounding email to set up a review meeting. Stan responds by putting in a grievance for bullying and goes off sick with stress.

Team Gold at the Crawley Call Centre like a ‘bit of banter’ and often pepper one another with texts and emails. They’re all OK with that including the manager as it ‘oils the wheels.’ Two new team members start and are welcomed by a jokey email in which the word ‘gay’ appears. One of them goes to the Team leader and is in a dilemma being gay but not yet out in this organisation.

Sigmaplusplus computing has 11 employees and is a family run business. The director and lead IT specialist disagree aggressively about spending £3000 on external IT support when ‘it was thought this could be handled in-house.’ An external mediator is brought in and the two central parties agree to differ and move on. No-one else is involved and the mediation is kept quite ‘secret’ and the atmosphere continues to worsen. Production dips.’

Grimmingtonland Council has a in-house mediation service and it gets 4 cases a year all of which have been successfully mediated. They are happy with that after a £10,000 plus spend.

Professor Bingaling from Sinistre College is a well know flirt, maverick academic and very direct manager. He has had 4 grievances taken out of him all without a proven outcome. He brings in significant research funds and staff think he is untouchable.

All of these stories could have positive conclusions. One of our aims with the ABC guide to Workplace Conflict Resolution is to show how to turn these negative conflict situations around. Watch this space.

John Crawley

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[1] Mediation An Approach to Resolving Workplace Issues; ACAS CIPD paper Feb 2013